"Do one thing everyday that scares you" -Eleanor Roosevelt
The last 11 months I have had a full time job, a flexible job, a job that I liked (at first) but gradually came to realize that my gender was a limitation and my voice was strangled in a quiet tornado of misogyny.
I spent every day in frustration, anger, resentment, and fear. Fear of having no "stable income" and fear of "quitting", and also fear of staying around and watching as the days drag on in monotonous routine. I had given myself a year minimum at this job, but last week I realized I could not commit to this goal.
I walked out.
It was the most unnerving, bold, and perhaps disorderly thing I have every done. Every bone in my body shook with fear as I came to the decision that my time there was up, that my attitude was only a reflection of the resentments I had accumulated and the injustice I felt as a woman, feminist, and human being.
Now I am swimming in child like bliss. I have been warned that "I shot myself in the foot", that the bliss "won't last long", that I am "gutsy" and whatever else. For every naysayer, I urge out of myself a heavy dose of self love and self acceptance. Everything happens for a reason, and in every moment I am free to decide.
I'm really looking forward to the coming weeks that are full of potential. The day I left my job behind, I felt the pulsation of the universe, the space around me beckoned to new opportunities and I can feel the true abundance coming my way. I am aware of the challenges I face, but at least I can start to regain my soul. Rejuvenate. Shed my old skin and grow a new one.
If you have ever felt the spirit of misery accompanying you day-to-day.. my advice is to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
The universe loves happy people, not sad ones!
And how is life as an "unemployed" artist? So far...fantastic. A visit to the art museum, lots of time outside, a beautifully relaxing acupuncture session, treating my home with love and care and cleaning it as I have been wanting to for a long time...